Good Ol' Bob

For my dad’s 60th birthday, my siblings emailed each other all the quotes my dad uses on a regular basis. Sarah did a great job and put them together in a book for him. Since Becky and I don’t live in Utah, we got on a conference call and read it to him on his birthday. It was pretty funny. Here is the text:

Dadisms

Dadisms are dad's classic lines that either make us laugh or teach us valuable lessons about life. We may have tried to ignore them as kids, but now find ourselves involuntarily blurting them out in similar situations. It shows the real influence dad had on us and that we were actually listening. It is only as adults that we realize the worth of some of these dadisms.

Auto
Did you check your oil?
5 miles under!
Come back with my bumpers
I bought a new car today…
Your tires look low
Did you write down the mileage in your little book?
Are you the one who thought you could drive 3 days one empty?
Is there air in your tires?

Food
You cooked it!
It went down my Sunday throat
Do we have any ketchup?
This is the best dinner you’ve ever made
I could eat this every night of the week
Do you need to know how to boil water?

Work/Money
You wanna eat don’t ya?
Gotta pay the bills
Where is my receipt?
Welcome to the real world
I gotta go, people yelling at me
Have you balanced your checkbook?
Let’s have a money meeting
13 column worksheets
Swamp city
First Security is up $.02 today
Bring back my change AND a receipt!
I have money down a few gopher holes your mother doesn’t even know about
I have to call Grandpa about our Schwab accounts.
Do you have a Schwab account?

On the phone...
Here’s your mother...
I’ve got someone on the other line
Can’t talk, don’t have any minutes
It’s the weekend, I’m calling because I have extra minutes on my cell phone
I don’t know what your mother has planned. Let me talk to her.
I don’t know, do you want to talk to your mother?

Dating
This is where we’d come to watch submarine races
Good enough for the girls I date
Is this the short version or the long version?
How’s your forehead?
Boys and girls are different
Call before you come because my girlfriend is coming over
Did you come home last night?
This is what it would be like if mom were dead

Advice & Encouragement
Don’t take wooden nickels
Hit ‘em straight
Just thinking about you
We’re proud of you!
Listen to Rush!
We’re praying for you, we know you’ll do the right thing
Don’t go to the bathroom by yourself

At Home
Who left the door wide open? (Translation: The front door is unlocked)
Are we heating the whole neighborhood?
There are snake skins on the bathroom floor

Family Night:
Ann: Bob, do you have anything to add?
Dad: No, you did a good job.

“Love at home”
Your blanket is in the dryer

Misc.
I’ve been to scout camp
Scouts wear pink underwear
Freezin’ and a beezin’
Whiky whiky!
Boys Team!
Why would you watch a movie more than once?
Do you have the receipt in case I want to return it?
What tickets?
This is the game right here
That’s the John Rosenberg look

Thanks for being such a great sport, Dad! We love you.